Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
