I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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