i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
