"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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