How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
