i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
