Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
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I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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