I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
