Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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