just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Actions speak louder than pants.
Mom said you looked used
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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