I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
