hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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