do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
