wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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