I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Pooping to opera.
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