That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize