how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
