apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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