You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what day is it and did you see me today?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
