that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
