I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
