She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize