Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
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Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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