No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
