I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize