so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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