everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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