New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
