What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Success! We fucked roommates!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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