So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
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I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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