just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
