How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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