So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
