JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
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I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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