I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
