Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
