Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you win again, gameday.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
