Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize