yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
