bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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