I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
