im about as happy as oj after his trial
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
