So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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