She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
