Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
