How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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