hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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