we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
