after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
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No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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