My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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