Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
