fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
