I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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