I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
